I-35, the highway of ass-hattery?

Most traveling around Austin will at some point involve either I-35 or Mo-Pac (or Moo-Pac as my wife and I call it for no other reason than we like the word “moo”). Many times, either one is a viable choice if you’re heading downtown from the North. We, and several other friends, have noticed a strange trend. It seems that for some mysterious reason, I-35 seems to have a much higher percentage of ass-hats. My wife claims that she can even feel herself becoming more of an ass-hat when she has to drive on I-35. Of course this could be due to the Theory of Ass-hattery which states that one’s ass-hat potential increases proportionally with the amount of ass-hattery that one must endure, but we’ll leave that for further scientific study.

I figure there must be some explanation, be it scientific or mystical. Was I-35 built on ancient burial grounds? Is there perhaps some “lay line” force current at work? Maybe if one were to delve into numerology and symbolism they would find some cryptic source where “I-35” or some ancient runes or symbols closely resembling “I-35” were known to represent or bring out the ass-hat that dwells within the soul. If only Robert Stack were still alive perhaps he could unfurl this “Unsolved Mystery.” I may not have the answer, but I feel sure that Darin Murphy is somehow involved.

P.S. to the ass-hat in the attention seeking sports car who was behind me as we exited 183 South onto 360: you can honk as much as you like and I’m still not going to go because I’m waiting to get all the way across and take the first left, so go around, you obnoxiously honking ass-hat.

3 Comments so far

  1. t (unregistered) on February 17th, 2006 @ 11:06 pm

    stop driving that ass guzzling SUV then.

  2. Heath (unregistered) on February 19th, 2006 @ 12:36 am

    I drive a Toyota Prius Hybrid. 50 MPG. Quite the opposite, I think.

  3. Jess (unregistered) on February 20th, 2006 @ 3:08 pm

    So, wait, is the argument from the first commenter that only SUV-drivers are subject to the asshattery of others? Weird.

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