Don’t Vote (not yet)

I’ll take the counter-point to Chas’ post and remind you not to vote. Not that most of you need the reminder, since turnout will be lower than Vince’s Wonderlic score in most districts. If there’s something I can get behind, it’s apathy.

Today is the day that perpetuates the tedium and boredom of democracy. Sure, you might get all keyed up thinking “it’s election day!!!” [patriotic music swells], but it’s only a mid-term cycle [music stops] and, well, it’s actually just the primaries [crickets chirp]. The only real reason to vote today is to validate the entertainment value of down-ballot underdogs like Sid Smith (Democratic sacrificial lamb for District 10, crotchety-old-man version) or Star Locke (Republican challenger for Governor, bible-thumping border-closing variety). Give ’em enough votes, and maybe they’ll stick around for some laughs in the next election.

Countdown to KinkyIf your New Years Resolution was to vote in 2006, don’t sweat missing today’s election extravaganza; there are five voting opportunities before we actually determine who sits in the extra cushy Governor’s chair next term. And if you’re into the whole “civic duty” thing, then forget the anonymous vote and sign petitions to get Kinky or Strayhorn on the ballot. Better yet, forge Perry’s signature on Strayhorn’s petition and sign Kinky’s twice. Kinky is getting things started tonight at the Capitol, where he’ll launch his petition drive just after midnight.

I’m not sure if I want Kinky to be Governor, but I sure as hell want him to have the chance. If you’re going to spit in the wind, at least make sure it tastes good.

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