This is the weekend of *-*-*-*-a-r-a-m-a. The nice folks at Hormel who manufacture S-*-*-* (rhymes with “ham”) have in the past had their (minor) differences with the sponsors of the Austin traditional event celebrating a certain pork product. The discussions involved use of the S-word.

One of these events is not unlike another of these events. If you’re not a contestant in the cook-off, and even if you are, this is an Austin tradition best enjoyed with friends, friends who share your sense of humor.

This year’s posters are the best ever: the first poster is a fairly generic take on Robert Indiana’s Love poster; the second poster is an excellent and original variation on the Milton Glaser Dylan poster.

So, okay; the legal terms say that you can use the luncheon-meat word and any words or terms containing it if all is entirely capitalized and has a trademark sign. Here goes: SPAMARAMA™ is a trademark of the Hormel Foods Corporation (and so is SPAM™ luncheon meat).

You may have a great recipe and be contemplating a last-minute entry in the cook-off, but you’re too late. According to the entry form, the deadline has passed. These days the Health Department wants to know the recipe ingredients and know them in advance.

Life used to be simpler back before there was much adherence to laws and regulations. I’ve never dared consume any of the cook-off results, but the judges are sincerely to be admired for being brave enough to do so.

Even though the deadline’s passed for the cook-off, there’s still the First Annual Miss SPAMARAMA™ contest, which has money prizes. The rules are not stringent, and each entrant will have three entire minutes in which to perform and enchant, showing off his/her “Looks, Talent and Austiness” no matter what his/her age or gender.