The City of Austin has closed the book on an unfortunate incident with an unfortunate lack of culpability. Last December, a former APD Detective and his APD Commander wife died in a motorcycle crash shortly after leaving a police-sponsored event. Both had been drinking, registering a BAC between three and four times in excess of the legal limit, prompting criticism that those responsible for patrolling drunk driving instead promoted it. But a report released yesterday inexplicably chose to absolve everyone, other than the dead officers, of any responsibility for the incident.

we didn’t see nuthin’

Austin attorney Archie Carl Pierce, an independent investigator, found no evidence of wrong-doing among the officers in attendance. Indeed, Kurt and Shauna Jacobson drank themselves into intoxication and drove themselves into a guardrail. In George Bush’s land of extreme personal responsibility, this tragedy begins and ends with their decisions and the consequences thereof. In W.’s village, we don’t do pinko crap like help raise children or meddle in the affairs of others (unless they’re doing gay stuff or other things W. doesn’t like), so this report might seem appropriate in that light.

But Archie goes so far as to say “the Jacobsons’ actions should not reflect poorly on anyone else who participated in a charity motorcycle ride with them.” Holding a charity motorcycle event at a bar reflects well on the participants? Watching your buddy ride his bike into said bar and leave a burnout on the floor reflects well on the participants? Please Archie, the reality of the situation is a bit too ridiculous to ignore.

The officers in attendance either noticed the intoxication and failed to act, or they were oblivious to the whole scenario. In a choice between penitence or incompetence, APD appears to favor the latter. But doesn’t this call the entire DUI enforcement into question? If dozens of cops can’t identify a drunk when he smokes them out of a bar and rips off at 90 mph, then I’m thinking some regular folks have plenty of ammunition to contest citations based on the same quality of observation.