Ok, its named “Thunderpalooza”… I’m sorry, but that just scrrrrreams images of mullets, muscle tees and cans of High Life.

Alright alright, maybe it’s a generation thing (after all, I grew up in the Seattle Grunge era, not the 80’s metal phase), and I should probably take it easy on all the die-hards out there- but I can assure you I will be avoiding the festival madness at Thunderhill Raceway in Kyle just like I avoided that kid in second grade who always peed on other kids.

Get a load of a few of the headliners: The Beach Boys (who, last time I accidentally saw them at an Arizona State Fair, sounded like a bunch of old guys doing bad karaoke), Eddie Money (this guy is actually touring with Rick Springfield, Loverboy and Scandal under the theme of “We are the 80’s Tour”), and Rick Derringer (yeah, that guy who sang “Hang On Sloopy”, wrote Hulk Hogan’s theme song and now makes inspirational Christian cd’s with his wife).

I have come across several websites touting this festival (taking place November 3-4) as a second cousin to the Austin City Limits (sorry, I just fell over from laughing). And to think- tickets are only $30 a day! Limited time offer, of course…

Yes it’s true– if the amazingly bad lineup of has-been (and never-will-be-again) artists isn’t enough to woo you into your cutoff jeans and David Lee Roth shirt for some hardcore rockin’- do it for the children and…uh…the boobs. Indeed, it is a benefit to “Help uninsured children in the greater Austin area AND to deploy a mobile mammography unit.”

*Sigh*, people in Texas are weird.